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Laws of Organisations

I have spent the last 30 years working for (well, ok then, employed by) large organisations. This experience has led me to promulgate a number of  Laws of Organisations; perhaps they are a metaphor for life, the universe, everything  

1 For any given level of responsibility undertaken, you get paid more the nearer the centre of the organisation that you work.
2 There is no such thing as adequate resources
3 There is no such thing as a permanent contract. Contracts usually described as permanent are those which can only be terminated by giving due notice.
4 No idea is so stupid that it will not sound stupider if propounded by the office idiot. This person is also living proof of the adage that you can fool some of the people all of the time.  
5 You will probably not get your reward in heaven. If you do, it will not be the reward you are expecting
6 It is not only possible but it is indeed the likely outcome that a committee will agree on a decision that each and every member knows to be wrong.  
7 No decision is so urgent that it cannot be stalled by arranging a meeting to talk about it.  
8 The last person to arrive at a meeting is always the one with the least distance to travel
9 Rumour abhors a vacuum
10 Always remember that you are never more than one telephone call away from disaster
11 Have you ever noticed that, whenever you tidy up a room, you can never find anything afterwards? The organisational equivalent is that if you reorganise a function nobody knows how to do anything afterwards.

Finally there is my law of life, which I usually quote when the kids are brassed off with me: you can't fight heredity.


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